How we often impose limits on ourselves that we created in our minds

When playing D&D, we often make game decisions based on our ability scores that limit our options. This happens in life as well.

 

Bitzy: So the door is made of stone, and you have not been able to pick the lock. You hear the evil wizard on the other side start speaking the dark spell that will open the Portal of Doom and release countless monstrosities to destroy the good people of the realm.

Carl the Cleric: Normally, I would Wildshape into a rhino and crash through the door, but I just got knocked unconscious last round by that guard Rose just killed. It’s up to you, Rose, to get in there and save everyone.

Rose the Ranger: I can’t do it. My Strength is an 8, which gives me a -1 to my check. I could never break through that door! Aaaagh!

Bitzy: The wizard raises his voice as he speaks the final words of the incantation…

Who says you can’t try to break down the door, even if Strength is your dump stat?!!

Let me give you a real life example of where this happened in Bitzy’s life. False beliefs about my own limits almost stopped me from doing what needed to be done.

One of my favorite activities is to sit in the backyard under a maple tree, enjoying the incredible view of the meadow. Like many household projects, this one started out as an idea: What if we had a patio on the back lawn?

As you know, Bitzy loves to plot and plan. Using the software package Punch!, I made a 3D model of the new patio to make sure it was placed in exactly the right spot.

I spent weeks looking for the perfect stone tiles and learning how to install the patio. When picking out the tile pattern, Thorn really wanted to use large 24″x24″ stone tiles, but I hesitated. Those large tiles weigh 48 lbs each! 

Certainly I would not be able to install them, as I am not very large or strong. Luckily, my friend Thorn is! So the plan was that we would work on the preparation together and then Thorn would lay the tiles.

Off we went on our latest project! Thorn and Carl prepared the site by first removing the sod.

When laying a stone patio, the preparation is extensive but essential. We all pitched in with shovels, dug down, leveled the ground, and put in a gravel base. We then installed a barrier sheet and a special foam foundation product. Finally, we added a layer of sand and the site was ready for tiles.

Thorn referenced the detailed pattern I had prepared as he laid the heavy stones. I used chalk to number each stone to correspond to its position on the diagram. It was all going according to plan.

And then it happened! Thorn threw out his back and was out of commission. How can we complete the patio now? And the sod was scheduled to be delivered that week! The patio needed to be completed, so that we could finish the backfill around it and install the sod before it died. Aaaagh!

But then it struck me, just because Strength is my dump stat, it does not mean I can’t even try to install it myself! So Bitzy took on the task! I found the strength to lift these heavy stones and install them in place. 

In just a few hours, the remaining tiles were installed. We used an angle grinder to cut the edge to a curved shape. The job was completed just in time to backfill with soil and lay the sod.

So now we have a wonderful patio that everyone can enjoy. It would not have happened if I had believed the false limits I was imposing on myself.

Carl the Cleric: It’s up to you, Rose, to get in there and save everyone.

Rose the Ranger: I muster every bit of Strength in me and try to force my way through the door. *clunk clunk clunk* I rolled a natural 20!

Bitzy: Rose barrels through the door. It flies off its hinges and knocks over the wizard just as he was about to finish his evil incantation. The realm is saved!

Bitzy the Bard
“Life is an adventure story and you are the star. Choose to play a hero!”